واقعا فکر نمیکردم این حجم احساسات رو سر مرگ یه کاراکتر فیکشنال تجربه کنم ولی کردم. البته دلیلشم میدونم چرا و شاید یه موقع بیام بنویسم. ولی خب برام جالب بود که چقدر تاثیر گذاشت روم و اصلا و ابدا فکر نمیکردم اینجوری واکنش نشون بدم. یعنی قبلا سر مرگ کاراکترا ناراحت شدم بعد یه ساعت اینا یادم رفته، این دقعه از دیروز صبح تا امروز عصر اینا هردفعه یادم میفتاد اشکم درمیومد. :))) اصلا خیلی عجیب بود. البته الان که فهمیدم چرا انقدر ناراحت شدم و چرا انقدر احساس وابستگی میکردم حالم خیلی بهتره. یعنی وقتی فهمیدم دلیل احساساتم چی بوده.
۳۰ شهریور ۱۴۰۲
Sweep away the letters lying by the door
Hide away those reoccurring tears once more Everything is silent Her room is void and sound With every passing hour Time is letting her downTelephone fragments lay scattered on the floor
No words to make it better She's heard it all beforeStaring in the mirror
At beauty come and gone Bewildered and broken She fades away aloneLeft her burdenеd with years of sorrow
She'll take it to the grave And lay the sadness to rest Don't leave her flowers Just leave her alone She needs to find the answers Far away from homeDon't stand in bitter judgment
At the truth she won't untie Don't tell her not to suffer Don't tell her not to cryThere's no absolution
As the blood still taints her hair The scars might be invisible But the wounds are still thereLeft her burdened with years of misery
She'll take it to the grave And lay the heartache to rest Don't seek forgiveness Just leave her to mend She needs to find the answers She needs to find the endAlong you came searching
Slowly rooting in her soul Regained a sense of feeling And the gift to make her wholeBut she's giving in to shadows
As she draws the final line Follow her into darkness And embrace her till the end of timeLeft her burdened with years of agony
She'll take it to the grave And lay her fears to rest Don't leave her stranded But just leave her be In time you'll know the answers For she is meShe is me
۱۱ شهریور ۱۴۰۲
خب خدا رو شکر متوجه پترن اعصاب خردی هام شدم و باید بیشتر حواسم به وضعیت روحیم باشه دور و ور دهم هرماه.
۱۱ شهریور ۱۴۰۲